Navigating The Layers of Grief
Accepting Change, Honoring the Past, and Embracing What’s Next
Grief isn’t just about loss in the traditional sense—it’s about transition, about letting go of what was to make space for what is. It’s about mourning not only the people we lose but also the parts of ourselves that no longer fit, the relationships that don’t meet us where we are, and the places that once felt like home but now feel like echoes of the past.
This past weekend visiting my mother was a deeply emotional one. While I am grateful for the progress she has made in her recovery, I wrestle with the tension between pushing for more and accepting what is. Her resilience is undeniable, yet I find myself straddling the line between motivating her and recognizing that my hopes for her progress are not the same as the reality of her healing.
And now, I am faced with a truth that feels heavy—the possibility of moving her into a care facility. With that realization comes another wave of grief: What happens to the family home? Do I sell it? Rent it? Renovate it? The home that holds my childhood, the walls that have witnessed my growth and my mother’s love, now feels like a weight too heavy for her to bear. And I grieve that too—the home, the memories, the sense of security it once provided.
The Unspoken Grief of Change
Change, even when necessary, brings grief. It forces us to confront not just what we’re leaving behind but also the expectations we once held. I grieve the version of my mother I knew before her stroke. I grieve the dynamic we had, the ease of our conversations before her survival mode took over. While I honor who she is now, I can’t deny the ache for what once was.
I grieve the family support I wished I had but do not. The moments I thought would be shared burdens have instead felt like solo battles. I grieve the dream of collective care, of leaning on those who should have shown up but didn’t.
And then, there is the grief of self—of realizing I have outgrown certain people, environments, and habits. Growth is often celebrated, but what we don’t talk about enough is the mourning that comes with it. To evolve is to release. To step into a new chapter is to say goodbye to an old one, even if parts of it felt like home for so long.
Making Peace with Transition
So how do we hold grief and growth at the same time? How do we honor what was while still moving forward?
- Allow space for the grief to exist. We cannot rush our way through loss. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a home, or a former version of ourselves, we have to let the feelings move through us. Suppressing them only delays the inevitable.
- Release the illusion of control. I cannot control my mother’s recovery. I cannot control how my family chooses to show up. I cannot control the past. What I can do is show up in the present and make the best choices from where I stand now.
- Recognize that grief and gratitude can coexist. I can mourn my childhood home while being grateful for the memories it gave me. I can grieve my past self while honoring the person I am becoming. I can ache for my mother’s past strength while standing in awe of the resilience she holds now.
- Trust that letting go is not the same as forgetting. Moving forward does not erase what was. It simply makes room for what’s next.
Honoring What Was, Embracing What Is
There is no roadmap for grief. It doesn’t follow a linear path, nor does it come with a timeline. But as I sit with these feelings—the sadness, the frustration, the acceptance—I remind myself that grief is proof of love, proof of care, proof that something mattered deeply.
And while grief will always be part of the journey, so will healing. So will joy. So will new beginnings.
For anyone else sitting in this space—grieving a past version of yourself, a loved one, a home, or a dream—know that you are not alone. Your grief is valid. Your growth is valid. And you are allowed to hold both at the same time.
How are you navigating your own transitions? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear how you are honoring your grief while embracing what’s next.
Elev8d Essence: The Balance Blueprint
